Forgiving self and others Matt 18:21-22, Luke 23:34 & Mark 11:25

Forgiveness could be defined as; to stop blaming or being angry with someone for something they have done, or not punish them for something. Ie ‘The pardon…’

One might think of the not so easy things about forgiveness like; it’s not easy to apologize, to admit errors, to shoulder deserved blame and even not easy to receive or offer forgiveness. But with the Help of the Holy Spirit, every child of God ought to find it very easy to forgive.

Note forgiving is a process for which the offended goes through first, seeking inner-peace with the help of the Holy Spirit. Then through grace and mercy the offended find the grace to let go and to forgive.

Forgiveness is not an option, it’s a requirement as Matthew points out in Mat 6:12-15, and it starts with a look in the mirror (Mat 18:21-35, Col 3:13). Forgiveness does not mean pretending that nothing happened (Jer31:34, Gen 7:24-8:1 & 2Sam 12:13-14).

Since forgiving acknowledges something happened, it is fair to say forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It is in our human nature to remember things, especially those things that left scars on our bodies. If there is a scar on us, each time we see the scar we remember the incident. But once we have forgiven, even seeing the scar will not cause us to feel the hurt we felt before forgiving. Yes the scar is there but one chooses to let go and move-on without holding bitterness towards the other.

Forgiveness says yes something happened, there might be a scar or bruise but the offended chooses to let go of the hurt caused by the offender. Forgiveness is a conscious and deliberate decision that the offended choose to make in order to let go of whosoever and whatsoever was done to them.

A psychiatrist once said ‘if he could convince people in the psychiatric wards to receive and to offer forgiveness, 75% would walk out cured in one day. Wow! What un-forgiveness can cost.

We should get smart in giving & receiving forgiveness, let there be no wrong done against us that we can’t forgive & no one we shouldn’t forgive.

Forgiveness is imperative; meaning it’s a tool for our own happiness. It has nothing to do with right or wrong, because the offended does not need to wait for the offender to apologise before the offended forgives. Note forgiveness is for the interest of the offended as it’s for the offender. ‘It’s supposed to be a life style, you must forgive…’ To a believer, forgiving others and one’s self is not an option, it is a must deal.

The words of Mat 18;21-22 ‘forgive seventy times seven’ means one must keep-on forgiving forever because seventy times seven is boundless. Jesus is simply saying forgive no matter who or what and no matter how many times someone offends us. In Christ we have enough capacity to forgive and no prayer can release an unforgiving person. Therefore if our Lord Jesus Christ forgave us, why should there be anything too much for us to forgive? Col 3:13 tells us to ‘put up with each other and forgive anyone who does us wrong just as Christ forgave’.

No matter how terrible we might have been offended, we must forgive because we have the nature of God to forgive; this is why forgiveness is imperative. When we forgive, we frustrate Satan’s plans, ie forgiveness brings a closure of one’s past and it opens a springing door for the future.

Matthew 18:7 says ‘… offences will come, but woe from the one it comes from…’. In this life, offences are bound to come. It is only those in the grave or the dead that can no longer be offended. The saying goes ‘to err is human but to forgive divine.

Offence is a satanic trap for destruction & damnation, offence is compulsory and the devil uses it to cause damage. Unforgiveness has consequences, some of which are; (a) unforgiveness hinders access to God, ‘before you pray forgive the wrongs of others’ Matt 11:25; (b) unforgiveness invites the activity of the tormentors ie it attracts satanic tormentors Mat18:34-35; (c) access to grace is hindered, when there is unforgiveness (Heb 12:15), when there is no grace all that is there is disgrace; (d) bitterness or un-forgiveness is a poison that troubles the system of man, bitterness troubles a man’s life. There are some hormones that arise when we get frustrated or bitter (ie unforgiving decreases the love hormone, and increases blood pressure and stress hormones, etc).

Bitterness defiles the spirit of a man: when we go about unforgiving, we carry with us a defiled spirit. And once we come in contact with a defiled person, if we are not careful, we will become defiled by them. How? A defiled person would want to inject the bitterness and hatred into you by passing unto you why you should hate the one they hate. Why should you hate someone who has not wronged you just because they wronged your friend… Be wise, if the devil can’t get one through money, sex, or power, he can easy get one through bitterness.

Unforgiving and bitterness bring damnation to eternity Rev 21:27. No one enters into heaven with defilement, including the defilement of bitterness. 1 John 3:14-15 says he who hates his brother is a murderer. So, because of our eternity we must forgive, forgive, forgive & forgive. It takes the grace of God to forgive anyone especially those who have caused us pain & hurt.

Some facts about forgiveness:

1) The release of the offender is the release of the offended; once one forgives their offender, one’s captor must release the offended too. The devil releases the offended from the guilt of un-forgiveness once the offender is forgiving.

2) The release of the offender is the restoration of the offended; release is key to restoration. If there is any hurt in you my friends, release the offender by forgiving them so that you don’t shut your heaven.

3) The presence, power, & working of the Almighty are activated by the action of forgiveness.ie God steps into action the moment we forgive & pray for those who deeply hurt us. We should also learn to forgive ourselves before forgiving others. Un-forgiveness erects a wall around us, preventing us from entering or experiencing the presence of God.

4) The power of prayer is amplified by the action of forgiveness; If our prayers must be impactful then we must forgive... Since the race of this life is all about eternity; It’s of no benefit if we serve God well all our life but end-up in hell because of bitterness? It’s not worth it at all. Release the whosoever and the whatsoever for a guaranteed eternity…

What to do with un-forgiveness;

We must release our offenders; we should pray and ask for the grace to forgive. We should also pray for those who hurt us like in Job 42:10, because it is not possible to sincerely pray for someone and still hate them.

Remember if we carry-on holding to offences, we are hurting ourselves because we carry a burden if we don’t forgive people. Jesus calls us to forgive regardless of the offender or the offence and there is no amount as to how many times we should forgive; Jesus said keep-on forgiving…. Satan is the accuser ie the enemy (Rev 12:10).

My brothers and my sisters, evil for evil is of satan, and it is a bad move for anyone to take… (Rom 12:17-18, 1 Peter 2:21-23). Let this picture of Christ on the cross stick with us always. He forgave humanity for whom He bore all our sins and shame. Jesus said ‘Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do’ (Luke 23:34).

As Jesus has forgiven us, we His followers must forgive the …whosoever and the whatsoever they have done wrong to us.

Matthew in the Lord’s Prayer said … Lord forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors… Mat 6:12. Oh Lord help by teaching those who are still harbouring hurts in their hearts to forgive their offenders in Jesus name Amen.